You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
