it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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