blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There r osticjed everywhere
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
