dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
