i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
