yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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