We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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