you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
