i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
