Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
