im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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