Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
