I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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