your thong is hanging out like whoa
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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