please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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