Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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