Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
