It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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