Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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