He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
