garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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