real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Randomize