the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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