he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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