You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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