I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
