Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
