idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
