Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
