Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
