she was so not down for the gang bang
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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