Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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