i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
