thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
