so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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