Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize