im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize