return my video game
Small penises have feelings too.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
