I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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