Pappa wants mamma naked
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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