uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
