He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
MIDGETS
????
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
