He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
