I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
