are you still at the devil's house?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
