I need help removing her.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
