It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have aggressive nipples.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
