Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
