and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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