the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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