Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
