Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
