You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
