Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
