Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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