I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
