Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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