He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
