it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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