I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
