Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
